My sister Teresa and her husband Phil, married for almost 50 years, are dedicated to having weekly date nights. They have a bond to be admired, for it is a great achievement. Although their success is a great deal more than having regular date nights, they are both deeply committed to their time together.

A while back I inquired about the success of their regular weekly dates. Which they gladly shared with me:

It was important to commit to a specific night of the week. They agreed it would be much more successful, if it was a week night that they were loyal to, as it would minimize the risk of having to cancel due to other potential social events on the weekend. They settled on Wednesdays and learned to schedule around that time.

They also agreed on several ‘ground rules’ for date night. First, it was just for them – no other friends or family were included. Second, it was all about conversation. Venues had to be conducive to talking – no movies. Third, it had to be affordable. As a young family there was not a lot of disposable income and the thought of not being able to afford a date night was not an option. This led to a lot of fast food being taken to a park or just a walk to enjoy the sunset together.

I learned quickly how dedicated they were to their date night. If I happened to call my sister, while they were on their date, she would respond, “Honey, make it quick, because Phil and I are on our date.” Having two children, especially when they are young, it is often important to keep cell phones handy. Keep them on ‘vibrate’ and only answer calls you know to be important.

I was curious what they would talk about on their dates and Phil assured me they tried to keep it light and enjoyable. But, the truth is, that date night quickly became a time that they both looked forward to, knowing that they would have uninterrupted one-on-one time to talk. That time was not always possible due to dual careers and children. Consequently, conversations included discussing each other’s’ calendar, vacation planning, home improvements, personal and family goals, budgeting etc. As important as light and flirty conversation is with your spouse, the ‘meaty’ stuff also needs some space.

So, in a few bullet points:

• Both made the commitment of a specific weekday “date night” they could commit to.
• Set a venue that is conducive to uninterrupted conversation.
• Hold the day sacred, but if something unavoidable comes up schedule the day before or the day after.
• Don’t spend this time with others or on your phone.
• Don’t let budget get in the way. This is about talking – not fancy dining.
• Be sure that EACH person has the opportunity to address topics important to them.

Now that they are both retired, they still hold this time sacred. In fact, Wednesdays have now morphed into date DAYS.